


The Oldest Game

by Lady_Stardust7



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Drug Use, F/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-12-13 02:09:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11749872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Stardust7/pseuds/Lady_Stardust7
Summary: On his way home from work, Gold runs into a lady of the night called Lacey. He finds himself drawn to her, and soon realises that he can't stop thinking about the young woman on the street corner, and the web of secrets she has spun.Warnings for drug use, physical assault and mentions of sexual abuse in later chapters.





	1. Blissful Solitude

Gold was content. Sure, he didn’t have the conventional life that most people craved. He didn’t have a wife, children, or any pets. Nor was he a beloved member of the community – on the contrary, the residents of Storybrooke seemed to shrink under his gaze. No, Gold didn’t have those things, but he didn’t want them. He had the two things that kept him happy: solitude and complete control.

Today, like most days, had been a good day. He had spent the morning collecting rent, giving him an excuse to intimidate as many people as he wished. He had nearly even brought a tenant to tears when he threatened to raise their rent by 10%! He’d spent the afternoon in blissful seclusion from the world outside his pawn shop, tinkering with clocks and mechanical toys. He felt accomplished with his day’s work when he locked his shop up and began his walk home in the cold winters night. 

Gold often left his car at home during the winter months, as the walks were always a lot quieter. His three-piece suit and heavy coat protected him from the chill, and he was free to listen to the sound of the abandoned streets. The whistling of the wind through the bare branches were enough to intimidate most, but Gold often found that these were the times he felt the most relaxed. There wasn’t a person in sight, only silhouettes of buildings and shadows of trees, leaving him free to feel like he was the only person in the world.

He thought about what he would do with the rest of his evening. When he arrived home, he would pour himself a glass of that thirty-year-old Campbeltown whiskey, put his feet up and have a nice, long game of chess against himself. He was mentally preparing himself for which move he’d open with this time when a voice pulled him back to the earth.

“Hey, sweetie. Wanna spend some time together?”

Gold stopped walking and turned around to place the location of the voice. He found it hidden in a small gap between two buildings by the corner of the road, coming from a small girl with wearing a short black skirt and a thin, lacey top, showing off her bra underneath. Her heels added to her height but she was still a few inches shorter than his own small stature. When he looked upon her face, she raised an eyebrow at him and attempted to send him what he presumed was a seductive smirk. He rolled his eyes.

“Dearie,” he sneered. “I didn’t earn the money to buy the street you’re standing on by squandering it on the petty primal urges that you’re offering.”

And with that, he continued his route home.

***

Once he stepped through his front door he allowed the warmth to embrace him, pulling him in from the cold air. He hung his coat up and took his shoes off, and went to his cabinet to pour himself that glass of whiskey he’d been looking forward to. He took a seat at his armchair and let his mind wander back to the intriguing girl on the street corner.

She was, truthfully, a very attractive woman. Although he dismissed her almost immediately, she must have noticed the way that his eyes ran hungrily over her body. That tiny excuse for a skirt left nothing to the imagination, and that wasn’t even touching upon that practically transparent top she was wearing…

There was an undeniable tightening in his pants betraying his earlier claim about petty primal urges. He closed his eyes and brought a hand to his bulge, rubbing himself lightly to ease some of the tension as he carried on his musings on her. Thinking of those shapely but bare legs caused him to suddenly think of the weather she was standing around in. She must be _freezing_. Not to mention how dangerous it must be out there for a young woman at night…

Gold contemplated his options. He could continue to touch himself until he came into his hand, then forget all about her and get to that game of chess he had currently planned the first six moves of in his head. Or, he could put down that barely touched glass of whiskey, go and pick up a woman standing in the freezing cold night and invite her back to his home, where she’d be safer, warmer, and a few dollars richer.

He promptly put down his whiskey and picked up his coat and keys, deciding that she would probably appreciate a warm car to rest her legs in rather than a ten-minute walk to his house. He put his keys in the ignition and blasted on the heating, taking a dew deep breaths to give himself a chance to change his mind. This was really happening. He reversed his car out of the driveway and made his way back to her, hoping to find her before somebody else did. He soon found her in the exact spot he saw her last, rubbing the tops of her arms with her hands in a desperate attempt to warm herself up. He pulled over and opened his window.

“Perhaps I was a little hasty,” he said. She looked up and saw him, her eyebrows raising in surprised amusement when she realised it was the same man who had looked down on her not even thirty minutes before. “Hop in, my place is a lot warmer.”

She made her way to the passenger side and took the seat next to him, swinging the door shut. Gold immediately took his coat off and passed it to her, insisting that she must be cold. She wrapped it around herself like a blanket, and he chose to ignore the smug expression on her face, instead beginning the journey home.

“Have you been out there all this time?” he asked.

“Yeah. Slow night. I guess everybody would rather be sat by their warm fireplaces than out on the prowl with their dick in hand.”

Gold winced a little at that, realising the group of people he was being associated with in his actions. It went back to being silent and Gold quickly realised how much slower the ride back seemed to be taking. He racked his brain for conversation topics but for the life of him couldn’t think of anything. What is there to talk about, when both parties are aware that the encounter is purely based around sex and money?

“What’s your name?” said Gold eventually, deciding that would be a good place to start.

“Lexi.”

Gold scoffed.

“Your real name, dearie.”

“What makes you think it’s fake?”

“Well, is it?”

“Alright. My name’s Lacey. Yours?”

“Gold.”

That was all that was said before they pulled up to Gold’s house, and they remained in silence on the walk to his front door. When he turned to gesture for her to come inside, Gold realised that Lacey was looking up in awe at the size of his house and he felt a surge of masculine pride. That didn’t help, however, with the fast thumping of his heart and the guilt already forming in the pit of his stomach.

It wasn’t until they were both in his lounge that the silence broke, with Gold offering her a whiskey. She accepted, looking around the room at all his objects as if every direction was calling her whilst he poured her a glass.

“You must really get around the world,” she said with admiration. Gold passed her the glass and picked up his own that he’d abandoned earlier. He stood next to her, looking at the object to which she was referring.

“Ah, yes. Well, it is my job to collect artefacts, and I wouldn’t be a good pawnbroker if that was limited to Maine. That there is a hand carved mask created by the Babongo tribe in Gabon, you see how it has a large mouth? That represents strength,” he informed her, wondering if she was actually interested or if it was all part of the act.

He and Lacey both put their drinks to their lips, and he took a sip. When he looked back to her he realised that she’d downed hers in one and put it back on the table.

“A fine whiskey should be appreciated, not rushed,” he pointed out.

“Hmm. And what else are you planning on appreciating tonight?” she asked, her tone turning seductive as she closed the gap between them and put her arms around his neck. Gold's mind went blank and suddenly he found his mouth painfully dry. He pulled back, taking another swig and pacing around the room. 

“So, um, whereabouts do you live? I haven’t seen you around before,” said Gold, avoiding her eye contact.

“I dunno, it changes a lot. Just around I guess. Why does it matter?” Lacey seemed strangely affronted by this, but if Gold noticed then he didn’t show it. 

“So you don’t have a permanent residence anywhere?” he pushed. “Why not? Rent doesn’t have to be expensive. Particularly on the block you were stood in, in fact. I daresay I could even do you a cheap deal if you prove yourself a reliable tenant. Although I would question the stability of your income…” He knew he was rambling, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He looked up to see Lacey frowning at him and he cringed. 

“You seem a little nervous,” she stated. “Why don’t you sit down, and I’ll help you relax.”

She made her way back over to him, pushing him back so that he was sat in his armchair. She took the glass of whiskey out of his hand, downing that too, and put it aside. She straddled his lap and he felt his muscles tense as she leaned closer to him, taking his earlobe between her lips.

“How, uh, long have you been in this business for?”

“Few years,” she muttered. “Who cares?”

The further this was going, the more uncomfortable Gold felt with going forward with it. Lacey pulled back so that they were looking at one another, one hand on the back of his neck and one hand on his shoulder. She moved forward, her lips moving towards his, and he quickly looked away, cutting her off before the kiss even began, and cleared his throat.

“Do your family live nearby?”

“No,” she said shortly. She slipped a hand up his shirt and he gasped, putting one of his hands over hers to hold it still.

“Is this something you can see yourself doing for the foreseeable future?”

Lacey pulled back and looked at Gold as if he were crazy.

“What’s with all the questions?” she asked. “Are you undercover or something?”

“No, I was just making conversation.”

Gold wished that he had stayed in with his hand and that unplayed game of chess, rather than with Lacey grinding against his lap like she was. Whilst he had looked at her with lust before, he felt nothing but guilt now at the prospect of paying this young and beautiful girl to pleasure him.

Lacey took both of his clenched hands from each arm of the chair and placed them on her hips. Gold thought about all of the other men that she must have done this with, all of the other men that she slept with that were disgusting old perverts. The one’s who paid her to act attracted to them, but who she must have been repulsed by. And what made him so different? She undid his belt, and was about to put her hand inside his trousers before –

“Will you stop that?” demanded Gold. He pushed her off his lap, and although it was only a gentle shove to get her off the arm chair, he regretted it immediately. She caught her balance and he looked up, seeing the fire in Lacey’s eyes as she hovered above him at his split-second moment of anger.

“What is wrong with you?” she said, angrily.

“Lacey, I-“

“Why did you even bring me back here if you’re not interested? Just so you can ask me questions about where I live and where my family are?” she shouted, and Gold found himself lost in confusion at the sudden change in mood. He stood up so that he was level with her and put out his hands to try and calm her down.

“You know, it’s illegal to have sex for money. I was paying for your time, we could just talk,” he said, somehow feeling like that would make the situation better. Lacey laughed humourlessly.

“Talking isn’t what I do.”

“Oh, but shagging strangers is?”

Gold hadn’t even processed his own words before they left his mouth, and suddenly he felt his cheek stinging. When he looked back up, he saw Lacey storming out of the room.

“Wait, Lacey,” he called, chasing after her. She didn’t turn around. “Lacey, let me pay you for coming back with me.” She stopped at that, but still didn’t turn around, as if she was torn. Gold took the opportunity to grab his wallet from his coat pocket, pulling $200 out fresh from the rent collections earlier that morning. She turned around and took the money, playing down the surprise that she felt at the large sum of cash.

And then she was gone.

Gold knew from the moment he had left to pick her up that the night would end with guilt and shame, but he didn’t think it would end like this. 


	2. Obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time, we saw a slightly awkward encounter between Gold and Lacey which ended badly for both of them. This chapter is set nearly a week later, in which we see the affect that this has had on Gold and how he acts on this.

Almost a week had passed since Lacey had stormed out of Gold’s house, yet barely an hour went by without her crossing his mind. He went over the encounter, over and over in his head, to the point that he was certain the memory must have changed a thousand times by now. But despite the lengths he went to to distract himself, his thoughts always wandered back to her. Particularly that small smile that escaped her lips for a fraction of a second when he gave her his jacket to warm her up, and the way that her eyes lit up when she saw the artefacts in his lounge. Despite the tough exterior that she put on, the little glimpse that Gold caught of the girl underneath felt like a drug that he needed more of.

Although he previously enjoyed his walks home, he now took his car to and from work every day. This way, he could remain hidden should he happen to run into her again. Every night on his journey home, he drove the same route, passing the same corner of the street with the hope that he’d catch a glimpse of her. Sometimes, he’d even drive a full circle so that he would have to pass it again, but she was never there. He’d never seen her before in this small town, and apparently, he would never see her again.

What business did he even have, looking around the streets for her? What would he do if he found her? He wasn’t entirely sure. He could feel her face slipping away from his mind and he needed another fix, an assurance that she wasn’t a dream. And, he supposed, that was his only answer. It seemed he only had one more option to understand more about Lacey, and that was to ask residents around town about her. Although he quickly noted that he couldn’t just ask around if anybody had seen the local prostitute without people getting the wrong impression. Even worse, he didn’t want to get her in trouble with the sheriff or potential horny clients.

So, one morning, Gold popped into Granny’s, deciding that there must be somebody in there who was worth asking about her. When he entered the building, felt a sense of pride at how quiet the atmosphere suddenly became. He took a quick glace over the customers, checking that Lacey wasn’t amongst them, but once again he was disappointed. Instead, the diner was full of people who suddenly seemed very interested in their food.

He made his way over to the counter and the volume of the diner seemed to pick back up again. Ruby turned to him, ready to take his order.

“A black coffee to go,” he said. “And… well, I was just wondering if you’d seen a young woman around. Left something behind in my shop the other day. She’s got long brown hair and her name is Lacey. Probably around your age.”

“Doesn’t sound familiar, but maybe you should try the Rabbit Hole. People around my age spend more time around there than they do around this dingy place.” She rolled her eyes, seeming exasperated, but Gold wasn’t interested. He paid for his coffee and left, heading over to open the shop.

Before he began his tasks for the day, he sat down with his coffee and flicked through the newspaper, taking an interest in the stock shares. A particular article caught his eye – KILLER CONVICTED FOR MURDER OF PROSTITUTE FOUND IN PORTLAND. He read on, reading of how the murder had taken place several months previously, and they had finally found the suspect, who was one of the woman’s clients, guilty. Underneath the article was a section with several helpline numbers and statistics on prostitution.

Gold felt his stomach lurch upon reading the facts, each worse than the last. They detailed the physical and sexual assault that somehow seemed commonplace amongst sex workers, with some being even as young as nine. Twenty times more likely to be a victim of murder. _Christ._  The more he read, the tenser he felt, thinking of the blatant sexism and assault that these women - even _young girls_ \- must have to put up with on a daily basis. Most of all though, he felt anger on behalf of Lacey for the shit hand that life had dealt her to have thrown her into a life of sex work in the first place. God, he needed to see her again.

The rest of the day dragged by, and Gold found himself unable to concentrate on anything. He filled most of his time searching through old books in his shop, attempting to research further into prostitution and escort services. Unfortunately, he couldn’t find anything and he settled for replaying scenarios in his head of what he’d do if he saw her again. He would probably follow Ruby’s suggestion and drive by the Rabbit Hole tonight in hope that he’d finally see her there. _Was this stalking?_ Gold suddenly froze at the rational voice in his head. If she knew the lengths to which he’d gone to try and see her again, she would surely think him a creep. But then, he wasn’t doing it out of his own pleasure, it was more so out of concern for her… right?

Gold shook his head of the thought. He was never one for morals anyway.

Eventually, Gold found himself back in his car, the day thankfully behind him. He had decided on going the long way home, which would allow him to pass the Rabbit Hole purely out of sheer coincidence. He drove slowly, butterflies in his stomach although he couldn’t explain why, particularly because if the rest of the week was anything to go by then he wouldn’t see her anyway.

He saw the bar and pulled over to get a better look – although from any angle this place was looking as grimey as ever. A broken window was boarded up, and a puddle of sick lay just a few metres from the entrance. A quick survey of the scene told him that Lacey was nowhere to be seen. He tried to replace his disappointment with disdain for the building instead, but the sinking feeling in his stomach told him he wasn’t doing a good job of it. He put the car back into gear when he suddenly saw Lacey walking out the entrance with a young, dark-haired man.

A bolt of jealousy ran through his bones at the fact that this man would be taking her home. _Not that she would enjoy it, mind_. He felt his heart sink, although for her or himself he couldn’t be sure. He was about to drive home, but then he saw something that made him slam his foot on the brakes. Lacey was trying to snatch her arm away from this man, who was pushing her towards the wall.

“I’m with friends tonight,” she said, pleadingly.

“But I know you love it… come on, just ten minutes? We don’t even need to go to mine, we could just go in an alleyway,” he attempted to compromise, still trying to catch her flying limbs as she tried to escape his grasp.

“Seriously, will you just. _Fuck. Off_.” Lacey emphasised this point by stamping on his foot with her heel. He let out a pathetic squeal, but quickly regained control of the situation by grabbing her by the throat and slapping her across the face.

Gold got out of his car so fast that he forgot to take the keys out. He stormed over to the pair of them, and the moment Lacey saw him, a wave of relief crossed her face that she wouldn’t have to handle this alone.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” yelled Gold. The man stepped back immediately and put his hands behind his back, looking like a child who had just been caught drawing on the walls.

“Mr. Gold, we, er… we were just making out,” he said, lamely. Gold looked at him as if he had just taken a shit on his shoe.

“She said no,” said Gold, teeth barred and venom emphasised on every word.

“Well, she didn’t actually say ‘no’,” he replied, with a know-it-all tone to his voice. “And you know what women are like. With a little persuasion, they change their minds anyway.”

 _Thump_.

Suddenly, the man was on the floor, clutching the side of his head which had just been met with the end of Gold’s cane. He tried to crawl away quickly, as if expecting to be hit again. He clumsily got to his feet and held his hands up in a surrender.

“I’ll go,” he said, backing away. Gold watched him every step of the way, fantasising in his head about the things he could do to make this guy’s life a misery. Eventually he was out of sight, and Gold turned back to Lacey, realising that she was already looking at him.

“For such a small guy, you really know how to intimidate people, don’t you?” she asked. Was that a flicker of admiration he detected?

“It’s all in the name, dearie. He knows who I am,” he replied. He was trying to come off as smoothly as he could, but the confidence that came from saving her had worn off the second that bastard had ran away and it was just the two of them. Now, he was once again the small man with a limp. “What happened there?”

“He was… just a previous client,” she said shortly, but Gold knew from her tone not to press on the matter. There was a short pause. “I wasn’t on duty tonight but he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Look, I, uh… well, I just wanted to say, I’m sorry about how the other night turned out,” said Gold. “I shouldn’t have pushed you. I felt like I was taking advantage, and maybe got a bit impulsive.”

“No, you shouldn’t have to apologise. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I guess that I just… I don’t know,” she cut herself off, but Gold looked at her expectantly, knowing that silence was often the greatest prompt. “I’m not used to clients being as… respectful, as you. And it made me feel a bit silly. It’s easier to be used and thrown aside and forgotten about, because that way you don’t have to stop and think about it. But you made me feel like I was trying to force you to treat me like that, and it hit home a bit.” She looked slightly embarrassed. “I’m a bit tipsy,” she admitted apologetically.

They fell into silence again. Even after all the time he’d spent imagining this scenario, Gold didn’t have a clue what to say.

“Well, I suppose I’ll let you get back to your friends then.”

“I wasn’t actually here with anyone,” she admitted, her cheeks turning slightly pink. “I just got sick of the same four walls so I came out, just as a distraction really. And look where that got me.” She laughed humourlessly, and Gold wanted nothing more than to embrace her or rub her arm reassuringly, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“I’m concerned that you’re on your own in the dark. Let me drive you home?”

“Fucking men,” she muttered. “Either they want your body or they treat you like a child.” There wasn’t any anger in her words, however, more of a dull resignation. Gold frowned.

“Please. I’m just worried about you. That’s hardly unreasonable, considering the position in which I just found you.”

Lacey sighed.

“Fine. You can drive me home. But I _am_ off duty tonight, so no repeats like last time,” she said, wagging a finger at him teasingly. He smiled, becoming more besotted by the minute, and walked her back to his car.


	3. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time, Gold saved Lacey from assault and insisted on driving her home. This takes place immediately after, in which some revelations are made.

Once again, Gold found himself with Lacey in the passenger seat and his mind blank. He turned on the radio to take off some of the pressure, and once she was safe and strapped in he drove her away from the location that he was growing to hate more by the second.

“Where am I dropping you off?” he asked.

“I’ll just tell you the directions. Turn right here,” she replied, shortly. Apart from the occasional direction and the sound of the late-night radio show, which neither of them were listening to, they remained in silence. Gold spent the time wondering if this would be their last encounter. Although he was about to find out where she lived, he could hardly pull up outside her house and watch her, and he knew that they weren’t friendly enough that he could just pop in for a cuppa.

Before tonight, he had hoped that seeing her again would maybe provide him some sort of closure, make him realise that she wasn’t a dream, and that she was okay. Maybe that way, he’d have been able to stop thinking about her all the damn time. After tonight, he knew that he should say goodbye to that hope, because saving her from potential sexual assault was in no way reassuring. He’d be lucky if he could get to sleep at all tonight, or in the next week for that matter.

“You’re not better than me, just because your suit jacket costs a grand,” she blurted out.

Gold blinked. “Noted.”

“Is it?” she retorted. “Because I can feel you judging me from a mile away. Left here.”

“I am not judging you,” he replied, defensively. “I was just wondering if you were okay. You’ve been through a lot tonight.”

“I’m fine. If you think that was bad, you should live a life in the day of me. That was nothing,” she laughed, but Gold didn’t even crack a smile.

“Lacey, have you… taken anything tonight? Other than alcohol, I mean?” asked Gold, tentatively. Truthfully, he had wondered if Lacey had engaged in substance abuse since reading the statistics in the newspaper, but it seemed particularly relevant now given the paranoia and slight mood swings she’d exhibited since he had picked her up.

“Liam gave me a few lines,” she said, casually. Gold felt his hands tighten on the wheel.

“And Liam, that’s-?”

“The previous client. Second right here.”

They returned to the silence and Gold felt himself getting angry, not at Lacey, but at this Liam. He suspected there was more to this bloke than Lacey was letting on but he knew not to pry, and tried to focus his efforts on the radio to distract himself. Some guy had called in for advice on how to tell his love interest that he had a third testicle, and Gold found himself wishing that his problems were that simple.

Unfortunately, his mouth betrayed him, and he found himself asking, “why do you do it?” before he had a chance to even process the words.

“Well, why do you do it?” replied Lacey.

He wasn’t following. “Do what, exactly?”

 “You live the same life every day. You seem like the kind of guy to keep yourself to yourself, I bet you’d go days without talking to anyone if you could. You wear a three-piece suit and go to work every day but what’s it all for? Don’t you feel sedated? Don’t you feel bored?”

“I feel content,” Gold replied, and he saw Lacey sigh and look out the window.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who’s awake,” she muttered. “Or, the only one who’s trying to wake up. I don’t do drugs because I had a fucked up childhood so cut it out with the pity, I just do it because it’s fun, and because I want to feel alive. It’s not the life I planned, but life doesn’t work out that way. Not that you’d know. I bet you’ve had money for as long as you’ve been alive. What do you know about living?”

Gold thought about it and frowned slightly. His mind suddenly felt blank when he thought back to his life. It was true, he’d had money for as long as he could remember… in fact, was there ever a time before…? He shook his head. He was getting side-tracked.

“I hardly think you’re in a good place to lecture me about living, dearie.”

“Whatever. You don’t get the point.”

“And that is?”

“The point is, there is no point, so get off your pedestal. You can just drop me off here.”

Gold stopped the car. Lacey muttered a thank you and got out, and he took a moment to look around the street. It was full of suburban family houses, and unless Lacey was living with somebody else there was no way she’d be able to afford this. He should know, he owned half of them.

He drove further down the road until he was out of her sight, then pulled up, got out of his car and rushed back so that he could see where she was heading. He watched her cut through the gap between two houses and followed a shortcut on his end to beat her to the next street. There, he watched her come out through the other side of the houses and walk through a few more streets and paths until all that surrounded her was overgrown grass and mossy walls decorated with crude graffiti. She walked up to one of the grimy buildings, putting her hand through the letterbox to open the door from the inside, before disappearing through the door.

Gold analysed the rest of the building. Surely she couldn’t live here? This place didn’t look suitable even for a stray dog. It looked fit to collapse any minute and that wasn’t to mention the sort of company it might attract, especially with the absence of a lock on the door. No, this wouldn’t do.

Gold made his way over to the door and gave it a knock. No answer.

“Lacey? It’s me,” he called through, but still no answer. He put his hand through the letterbox as she had done and opened the door, being met immediately with the stench of stale cigarettes and dampness. He found himself in a dark hallway with a ripped-up floorboard and walls that were peeling. He heard movement coming from one of the adjacent rooms.

“Lacey?” he said, walking into the room. He found her looking less than impressed, midway through lighting a candle.

“I could have you for breaking and entering, you know,” she said.

“That would only be in your interest if you were the homeowner,” he retorted. “And I’m willing to bet, by the state of this place, that you are just as much breaking and entering as I am.”

“Did you watch me until I got home? Are you stalking me or something?” she demanded.

 _Shit,_ he was. He looked behind her to see the gloomy interior of the so-called living room. It was dark inside, the moonlight and streetlamps fighting a losing battle against the boarded-up windows of the small room. The candlelight illuminated the mould encrusted wallpaper and collection of blankets and pillows on the other side of the room. He spotted a portable cooker and a few tins, boxes of cereal and chipped ceramic cups and plates.

“Oh, Lacey,” he sighed. “You’ve got to be kidding me. This is the living you claim to be doing? Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? Anybody could walk in here at any moment. You’re lucky the ceiling hasn’t collapsed in on you.”

She looked indignant.

“Hey, I didn’t _ask_ you to come back here. We’re not all lucky enough to have a big mansion like you do.”

“Come back there with me,” he blurted. Lacey looked taken aback, then she frowned as if it was all part of a ploy. “Seriously,” he continued. “You shouldn’t live here, Lacey. I’ll find you somewhere else, somewhere safer and with running water. In the meantime, you can have one of my spare rooms.”

Lacey looked as if she didn’t know whether to be trusting or angry. Gold got the feeling that she felt like this a lot.

“Please, Lacey.”

“Why do you even care about me?” she finally managed.

“I don’t,” he lied, on instinct. “It’s just that, squatting is illegal and as a landlord I hate to see it bring down property values in the surrounding areas.” He mentally kicked himself. _What the fuck?_

Lacey, however, smirked, seeing right through him. The smirk vanished almost as quickly as it appeared.

“And what do you want in return?” she asked.

“Nothing. You don’t owe me anything. I have the space, it’s no loss to me. Quite frankly, even my car is safer than this. At least it has a lock.”

She still looked uncertain. “I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Anthony.”

This didn’t look like it changed anything.

“I’m a small man with a limp,” he added. “I have no doubt you could overpower me if I had an ulterior motive. But you also know, from our encounter, that I don’t want to use you anyway. You have nothing to lose and I can guarantee your safety whilst you’re under my-“

“Okay,” she interrupted. Gold sighed in relief.

“Okay,” he repeated. “I’ll give you a moment to gather your things.”

“There’s no need. All my clothes are in this bag,” she replied.

Soon, they were back in Gold’s car and on their way back to his place, and he found himself wondering what on earth had just happened. He’d thought about this girl for days on end, accepting the fact that he’d probably never see her again. And now, she’d be temporarily living with him? He couldn’t believe his luck.

He’d make sure everything was perfect for her, giving her the break from her lifestyle that she deserved. He’d make her breakfast in bed – even dinner in bed if that was what she desired.

He thought back to what she had said earlier about wanting to feel awake. He hadn’t even felt asleep until he’d met her, but she had certainly awoken something in him. Something that would help her get her life back on track, something that gave his life a purpose right now. Maybe even once he’d turned her life around, something could develop between the two of them…

 _No._ He couldn’t go into this expecting an outcome as far-fetched as that. After all, he was doing this for her, not for himself. He’d help her realise how young, beautiful and full of potential she was, and she’d know how out of his league she was after that. He barely knew her, but he knew that was the least she deserved.

They got into his house, and he took her coat off her shoulders, hanging it up next to his. He threw his keys on the side and noticed her eyeing up his whiskey cabinet.

“I think you’ve had enough today,” he said. “The only thing you need is sleep. Come, let me show you your bedroom.”

He walked her upstairs to the second largest bedroom in the house, furnished with a queen-sized bed, an armchair beside the window and a fireplace. The room had a warm feel to it, the dark red walls decorated with paintings of the Scottish Highlands, although he supposed that anything felt warmer to her than that hovel she was staying in. He felt his insides flutter when he saw her eyes widen, and he wondered what else he could do to make her that happy.

“There are towels in the bottom draw of the dresser, and you’re welcome to put the rest of your clothes inside. The bathroom is just down the hall and you can help yourself to anything in the cupboards or fridge. I only have two requests.”

Lacey looked to him, suddenly brought out of the daze of looking around the beautiful room.

“No selling your body, and no drugs under my roof,” he told her. “I don’t care what you do when you’re not in the house, but if money is an issue I’d rather you asked me for it than have to get it from some pervert with a twenty-dollar bill and poor self-control. I have enough to spare so please don’t hesitate to ask.”

Lacey nodded in agreement.

“Feel free to take a bath, there are plenty of muscle soaks and a few candles if you’d like to relax. If you need anything else, I’m only in the next room.”

He went to exit the room, but Lacey took his hand and pulled him back.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been a bit of a moody bitch towards you,” she said, apologetically. “You’re very sweet and I appreciate it. Thank you, Anthony.” She learnt forward and kissed him on the cheek, before pulling back and unloading her clothes from her bag.

Gold tried to mutter a goodnight, but realised that his lips weren’t working, so he quickly departed. Once he was out of the room, he leant back against the wall and put his hand where she had kissed him, trying to savour the warmth he had felt there. He let out a deep breathe that he didn’t realise he had been holding.

So _this_ is what living felt like.


	4. Deeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Lacey is temporarily living with him, she and Gold spend the day together. He takes her to work before they head back to his for the evening, where things get a little more intimate...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for Lacey coming to work with Gold from Moonlight91's comment on my last chapter. I had lots of fun with it so hope that you guys enjoy :)

Toast, a cup of tea, some slices of assorted fruit. Gold looked the tray over half a dozen times, inspecting it to the last detail and reorganising the arrangement until he deemed it good enough for Lacey. _Bugger_ , the tea was probably cold by now after all the time he had spent on it. And maybe he should make some fresh toast for her too. He threw out everything on the tray and made it again, then carefully made his way up to Lacey’s bedroom.

He gently knocked on the door, and understood the groan inside to be a cue to enter. He spotted Lacey curled in the corner of the bed under a pile of covers, and she slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes. Gold caught a glimpse of how low cut the neck of her nightgown was, and he immediately averted his gaze to the tray he was holding, blushing profusely.

“Wow,” she yawned. “This place has pretty good room service.”

“Yes, well, I thought you might be hungry,” he said, placing the tray on her lap. She immediately tucked in, going straight for the toast and humming in appreciation.

“Very hungry, and a bit hungover,” she said, in between bites.

“I was going to invite you to work with me today, but I understand if you’d rather rest.” In the week he’d spent looking for her again, he’d played over many scenarios in his head of her casually strolling into his shop. As he was lying in bed the previous night, the idea of inviting her to spend the day with him there had popped into his head, and he had to battle insomnia like a child on Christmas eve.

“That sounds good,” she replied. “I’ll be fine after some painkillers.” He nodded and turned to leave until she called-

“Wait.” He turned around. “Stay here for a bit? We’ve not really spoken properly. Considering that I’m staying in your house and you’ve made me breakfast, it’s weird that I don’t know anything about you.”

He perched on the edge of her bed, feeling slightly out of place in his suit whilst she was in nothing but a flimsy nightgown. He started fidgeting with his hands as he heard her crunching on a slice of apple.

“Well, what is there to know?” he asked.

“You tell me.” Her eyes wavered over him until they settled on his ankle. “What happened to your ankle?”

“Just an accident,” he replied, shortly, putting an end to the conversation before it had even started. Lacey, on the other hand, hadn’t finished.

“Have you ever been married? Any kids?”

“No.”

“How come?”

He shrugged.

“Well, have you got any family at all? Parents? Siblings?” she prompted.

“I did once.”

“What happened to them?”

He shrugged again. “They died.”

Lacey looked at him, tilting her head thoughtfully. “You’re not a very open book, are you?”

“I’ve never needed to be.”

“So, you’re just completely on your own?”

“Just the way I like it.”

“If you like being alone so much, why did you offer me a place here and ask me to come to work with you?” He looked up at her at this and saw the teasing raised eyebrow and smirk she was wearing, as if she knew something he didn’t. The sudden butterflies in his stomach made him stand up.

“I’d better get ready for work. When you’re ready, just come downstairs and I’ll drive us there.” She nodded above her mug and Gold went downstairs to make his own breakfast. He brushed his teeth and combed his hair a lot more thoroughly than he normally did, glancing at the mirror more times than he had in the last month combined and putting a cologne on that he reserved only for special occasions.

Once Lacey was ready to go, Gold drove the pair of them to his shop, discussing how she had slept (“the best sleep in months!”) and the objects he was looking forward to showing her the most.

When he opened the door to his shop, he stepped back to allow her to enter first and she gasped. He strolled over to the cash register, moving a few objects aside. He dared to look up to her and smiled to himself at the expression she wore, almost identical to the one she had when she had walked into his house for the first time and saw his ornaments.

“This is insane,” she stated. “It must have taken so long to have collected it all. Do you know the stories behind every object? What’s this?”

Gold didn’t think it was possible to become more smitten with her, but she constantly had him falling deeper. He walked over what she was referring to, a thin object resembling a violin, only slightly bigger than his forearm. He took it out of the cabinet to give her a better look.

“That is a pochette,” he said. “It was popular during the Renaissance period in France, street performers used to play it because it was easier to carry around than a full-sized violin.”

“And what about this?” she asked, moving on to the next object, a large necklace.

“That was made in the 19th century, those flowers in the middle are made of a hundred rose cut diamonds and those leaves surrounding it are made of eighteen karat gold. Is this day going to consist of you asking me about every single object in this shop?” he chuckled, and she laughed too.

“What do you actually do here all day? This place doesn’t exactly seem heaving with customers,” she asked, turning around from all of the distractions behind her.

“Well, there are many jobs that need doing. Sometimes I run an inventory. Sometimes I research other objects to know what to look out for, and to adjust the value of my current stock. Most of the time, I fix or take apart objects and put them back together: old radios, engines, that sort of thing.”

“Can I see?” she said, with the curiosity of a young child. Her excitement was contagious, and Gold felt like there was nothing he would like to do more in the world than show Lacey his tinkering skills.

She followed him into the back room and he took an old mechanical watch from a box of items on the side, and gestured for her to sit down on the bench at his worktable. He took the spot beside her and pulled his magnifying glass between them along with a pair of tweezers.

“Here, I’ll even show you how to do it. The second hand on this watch moves too slowly. There’s a very simple way to speed it up, and you’re the one who’s gonna do it. Take this pair of tweezers,” he instructed, as he took the back of the watch off and placed it underneath the magnifying glass for her. “You see that balance assembly? Moving that regulator there moves the curb pins underneath, which affects the speed. Give it a go.”

Lacey took the pair of tweezers and leaned into the magnifying glass, trying to locate the regulator.

“Like this?” she said.

“No, it’s… here, let me…” He took her hands in his, repositioning themselves so that they were sitting diagonally on the bench, his legs either side of Lacey and his head just beside hers. He instantly became aware of their proximity and expected her to push him away any second now, but she didn’t. He steadily moved her hand to the correct location and altered the speed. “See, the closer the curb pins are to the stud, the slower it’ll turn. Moving it anticlockwise makes it go faster… like that.”

He could hear each breath she took, and he wondered if she could feel his own on the crook of her neck. Her hair smelled like the lavender shampoo from his bathroom, and he realised at some point he had closed his eyes. His tie immediately felt too tight, and he let go of her hands.

“Slot the back on, and give it a wind,” he whispered. She did as she was told, and the watch sprung back to life and began ticking. Her sudden “oh!” of excitement made his heart do somersaults.

“I fixed it!” she squealed.

“Yes, you did. Now, let’s see how it looks on your wrist.” He held her wrist and fastened the watch around it. “Beautiful. You can keep that.”

The rest of the day was spent similarly, with Lacey taking an interest in every job that needed completing, and asking questions about every object she laid her eyes upon. With anybody else, Gold would have found his patience tested, but with Lacey he found himself nothing less than charmed. He was in disbelief when he realised it was closing time, as the day had never gone so quickly.

Soon, they were back at his, and when he suggested sumac lamb chops with crushed caramelised onion potatoes for dinner, she laughed at him.

“What?” he said, indignantly.

“Even your food is pretentious,” she giggled. Despite the thinly veiled dig, he couldn’t help but smile too. She helped him prepare dinner, once again interested even with the simple task of boiling potatoes. Whilst she poured the red wine, he set up the table, placing candles in the middle and their plates opposite each other.

A meal and two or three glasses of wine later, Gold and Lacey found themselves sat together on his sofa. He couldn’t recall when the evening had started to feel so intimate, but later on he would have placed that down to the wine. The strange thing, Gold thought, was that it didn’t feel strange at all. On the contrary, it felt like there had never been a time before this moment, as if he and Lacey teased each other over wine every evening.

“It was a car accident,” he said, after a few moments of mastering up the courage to say it. “My ankle,” he added, when he saw her puzzled expression. She nodded slowly, not quite knowing what to say. “It was when I was driving home one night. It was dark, and the roads were icey. The surgeon said it was the worst fracture he’d ever seen; my foot was basically disconnected.”

“Does it still cause you any pain?”

“It doesn’t hurt much anymore, but it doesn’t take my weight. I had to learn how to walk again.” Gold didn’t know what else he could say about it, so he didn’t say anything at all. They both went for another sip of their wine, and Lacey assessed the man in front of her, looking thoughtful.

“You know, I had you completely wrong,” she said, eventually.

“How so?”

“I thought you were just this snob who thought you were better than everybody else.”

 “I do think that,” he quipped, causing Lacey to giggle again.

“What I mean is, you’re more than that. Behind that arrogance you’re actually an interesting guy and you’re a good man,” she said. Gold thought about those words. A good man? _For her, he could be._

“Well, for the record, my judgement of you has been completely accurate thus far,” he said, not quite able to meet her eyes.

“And what’s that?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively. He took a deep breath.

“The girl you’ve been today: inquisitive, enthusiastic, passionate. I knew she was in there somewhere. I knew all along that’s who you were. Life’s been a bastard to you but you still have that light in your eyes…” he looked up to meet her gaze, seeing the very light he was referring to, and that gave him the final push to continue. “It’s beautiful.”

A silence stretched out before them, and Lacey’s eyes darted across his face, as if she was trying to take him all in at once. They settled on his lips, and she scooted closer towards him. He planted his glass down on the coffee table, not taking his own eyes off her, and he moved towards her too, no more than an inch from her lips. He dared himself to close the distance entirely, but instead they remained like that. Eyes closed, and breathing in each-others air, the tick-tocking of Lacey’s watch the only indicator that time was moving at all.

After a while (seconds? Minutes? He couldn’t be sure), Lacey made the final move, and he felt her take one of his lips between hers. He pushed back into her, hungrily, like a man who had been starved from kisses all of his life. He put a hand on the back of her neck and tried to pull her in even deeper, desperate for more, lips working almost as fast as his heart was beating. When her tongue slid against his lips he opened for her immediately, their kiss so full of need that it was almost impossible to imagine how still they had been moments before. He almost whimpered when he felt her tongue moving against his, taking in the taste of the red wine she’d drank moments before.

Wait. _Wine._

They’d been drinking. She didn’t really want this – want _him_. He pulled back, flinching his arms towards his body, and the first thing he saw was a woman very different to the one he had leaned in to kiss. Before, she had seemed buzzed and full of life, but now she seemed defensive, looking at him for what she had done wrong.

“You don’t want this,” he muttered, looking down at his lap. He felt nothing but shame and he didn’t want Lacey to see that, and equally he couldn’t bare to see the disappointment in her own face.

“What?”

“You don’t want _me_ , Lacey. Look at me. You’re so young and beautiful, and I – I’m not,” he grumbled.

“I do want you,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder and trying to pull him in for another kiss. He stood up and turned away, not trusting himself to be in such close proximity without seeking refuge in her lips again.

“You only think that you want this because you’ve been drinking.”

“No,” she argued. “I _do_ want this, it doesn’t matter how much I’ve had to drink. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel that in the shop earlier, that moment we had. I know that you want this too.” She got to her feet, pulling his arm, begging him to look at her, but he stiffened and turned his back to her once more.

“You just think you’re attracted to me because I’ve given you food and shelter and security. I’m sure that’s an evolutionary reaction regardless of who I am,” he replied, his tone cold and detached. “I don’t want to take advantage of that.”

“You can’t tell me what I want and what I don’t want.”

“Well, Lacey, it’s not like you do a good job of that judgement yourself.”

He couldn’t see her, but he felt the hurt in what she said next.

“Right. Well. If that’s how you want it to be.”

He heard heavy footsteps leave the room, and ascend up the stairs.

“Wait, please, Lacey,” he called. “We’ve had such a lovely day. I don’t want it to end like this.” The only thing he heard in response was a door slam, and he sat down in shock. He closed his eyes and sighed. _What just happened?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...back to square one *hides*


	5. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally able to upload this chapter after our internet has been installed *dances*
> 
> So, last time Gold and Lacey had a really good day together which led to a little intimacy which led to an argument. This is what happened next.
> 
> Enjoy!

Gold longed for the nights he’d had prior to meeting Lacey - back when he could put his head on his pillow, fall asleep within ten minutes, and wake up refreshed and ready for the day eight hours later. Alas, those nights were seemingly long gone. Last night had been particularly bad - he’d barely slept at all, tossing and turning as the memory of Lacey’s lips on his intruded his thoughts over and over again. He felt tortured with the taste of what could have been if the circumstances had been different. He’d slowly witnessed the sun take over the night sky behind his curtains, until eventually he gave up and got out of bed.

He repeated his actions from the previous morning, making Lacey breakfast and a hot beverage before even considering what he wanted to eat himself. He knocked on her door, listening carefully for a reply… but there wasn’t one. He knocked a little louder this time, and called her name, but once again it was fruitless. He opened the door slowly, and took a peek through the crack, opening it completely when he processed that she wasn’t in the room at all.

He put down the tray on the dresser and walked to the bathroom, the living room, the whole house, but she was nowhere to be seen. He rushed back to her bedroom and opened the drawers, noticing that her clothes were still inside. That was a relief, to some extent. She couldn’t have _run away_ , so to speak. Perhaps she’d just left for a morning walk, or gone to visit a friend. It was probably nothing to worry about. Somehow, repeating that to himself didn’t stop him from worrying at all.

Despite the severe lack of sleep and the fact that his mind was elsewhere, Gold decided to go to work anyway. If he was to worry at home, he may as well worry at work, where he could attempt to make himself productive. Upon opening the shop, however, he was immediately hit with how empty it felt. Yesterday, when Lacey had come to work with him, it had been _different_. There was something that made him look at every object as if it was new and full of wonder. Telling her the meaning behind each one somehow made it feel like he was seeing it for the first time too. Today, it felt the complete opposite. There was a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he couldn’t care less about any of his stock.

He tried busying himself but he knew from the start that today was going to be a long day. He was in the middle of feeling sorry for himself when Regina Mills walked into his shop. He looked up at her but didn’t address her, hoping she’d get the hint that he wasn’t in the mood for whatever it was she wanted from him, and leave before any unnecessary time was wasted. If she did get the hint, she didn’t care.

“Gold,” she greeted. “I thought I’d come and check on you. The rest of the town seem to believe you’ve finally lost it.”

He wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but she seemed to take a certain element of glee in saying that. _Of course she did_. Anything to give her the upper ground.

“And what would give them that idea?” he humoured her.

“The recent company that you’ve kept. Really, Gold? Hookers? You spend all of your time locked away, avoiding everybody, and now you’ve got a young woman in toe. Lacey, is it? It’s been a bit of a cause for concern,” she said.

If he hadn’t felt so detached and lost, he would have argued it wasn’t like that. Unfortunately for Regina, he really did not care what the townspeople had to say about him, and he wasn’t about to tell her anything. He just felt tired.

“I fail to see how that’s anybody’s concern.”

“So it’s true, then?” She raised her eyebrows at him, although whatever surprise she was feigning wasn’t working. She didn’t look surprised in the slightest. “Really, Gold. I always imagined you with somebody who had a little more… class.”

“It’s especially not any of your concern.”

“She is pretty,” she mused, completely ignoring him. “Although, I suppose they’ve got to be, to be successful in _that_ line of work.”

He knew her game - knew that she was trying to get a reaction out of him. For what, he wasn’t sure. But he didn’t rise to it, and wouldn’t allow her to intimidate him. So, he ignored it instead, looking back down to his inventory sheet.

“Anyway, I just dropped by to let you know that people are talking. If you’re not careful, that ‘fearsome’ reputation you’ve built up will be knocked down. And wouldn’t that be a shame?”

“Yes, well, if that’s all, I really do have more pressing things to attend to.”

“It’ll especially be in shatters when the scene she caused late last night gets around.”

Gold would have sighed if she wasn’t stood in front of him, but he didn’t want to give her that pleasure. She waited for him to ask about it, to finally give her the power in the situation. And reluctantly, Gold gave it to her.

“What scene?” he asked, warily.

“You haven’t heard?” she asked, not bothering to hide a smug smile. Gold glared at her, loathing the fact that he was waiting on her every word. “Graham got a call to The Rabbit Hole at closing time. Apparently, one of the regulars had taken something she shouldn’t have… was getting aggressive, falling all over the place and projectile vomiting. Whenever anybody got close to her she lashed out and got violent, until eventually she passed out and got whisked away to hospital. I went to visit earlier, she really is quite a mess. Dr. Whale tells me that she’s had two seizures overnight. You do know how to pick them, don’t you?”

“And why would you know about all of this? How does it benefit you, concerning yourself with a prostitute who has a drug problem?” he asked, suspiciously. He knew Regina, and she never acted out of compassion or benevolence.

“I simply like to know what’s going on my town,” she said with a superficial smile, before she turned her back and left.

For a few minutes, Gold remained rooted to the spot, his feed glued to the floor. He felt a heavy feeling of dread inside his body as Regina’s words sunk in. He realised he was hyperventilating slightly and attempted to force himself to calm down as he picked up his coat and bolted out the door to his car.

The drivers ahead of him never seemed so slow. He tried to think about something else to stop himself from panicking, but how could he when Lacey was hospitalised? His mind drifted back to his encounter with Regina. There was something in her tone that he particularly disliked. It was almost as if she knew more than she was letting on, or as if she knew something about Lacey that he didn’t. He shook his head. He was probably being paranoid in his state of distress, but he’d be sure to investigate it later - after he knew Lacey was okay.

He entered the hospital and demanded to know where Lacey was. The frightened receptionist immediately searched the system and stuttered out “beech ward” and said something else, but Gold was already halfway down the corridor.

Once he was outside her ward, he stood outside the door. He reached out to the door handle and noticed how much his hand was shaking. He frowned at it, as if willing himself to stop it, but he remained jittery. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before he took the plunge and forced himself to open the door.

He looked around and found himself faced with six hospital beds, four of which were occupied by people in varying states. A sleeping man was closest to his left, and a young girl who looked no older than sixteen was surrounded by a small family on his right. The third bed had curtains wrapped around it and finally his eyes rested on Lacey.

Her head was turned away from him, and he thought she might be asleep until he got a closer look. She wasn’t asleep, just looking out the window. Wordlessly, he took a seat beside her. She was wearing an oxygen mask and had a few tubes on her wrist, but judging from her expression when she saw him, she was completely responsive. She looked like hell, mind - heavy bags under her eyes and a ghostly pale complexion, but she was conscious. At that reassuring fact, Gold let out a much-needed sigh of relief.

For a few moments they simply looked at each other, having a silent conversation through their stubborn expressions.

“Can you… talk?” he asked, weakly. He’d never been in this situation before and wasn’t sure about the protocol, but she lifted off the mask.

“I can breathe too, not that they trust me to do that by myself…” she replied, moodily. Gold nodded, feeling more reassured by the minute, and took a look around. By the end of her bed was a clipboard and he made to reach it, looking at her for permission. She waved her hand and mumbled a “whatever” so he unhooked it and took a look, figuring that he’d get clearer answers from the sheet of paper than he would from asking her.

After a long stretched out silence as he read, Gold looked back up to her. She lay with the expression of a teenager about to get a lecture from a parent, staring stubbornly at the ceiling and waiting for what was to come.

“A ‘crack cocaine overdose’?” he read. She rolled her eyes.

“Go on then,” she replied.

“What?”

“Tell me I behaved recklessly and need to learn to be more responsible, that I’m terrible at making life choices and need to find some other purpose like some meaningless job. I’ve heard it all before, so try your best and maybe you’ll be the one to finally convince me to change my pathetic ways,” she said, sarcastically. “Oh, and don’t forget the ‘if you carry on like this you’ll end up killing yourself!’ line. That seems to be a favourite.”

“I’m not here to admonish you, Lacey.”

There was another silence.

“You didn’t…” he began, unsure of his footing. “You didn’t do this because of… what happened last night, did you?”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, which made him regret asking it in the first place.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she said, dryly.

Gold sighed, feeling out of his depth. In the background, he heard the mother crying to the young girl he’d seen coming in. He heard her begging, “please try, for us” and through the stoic expression the girl was wearing, she looked as frightened as a sheep caught between a pack of wolves. He saw her lip quiver and she shook her head, and her mother let out a loud sob.

“She got brought in this morning,” Lacey whispered, following his gaze. “She tried overdosing but they pumped her stomach, and now she’s refusing to eat. They’ve been like this for hours.”

Gold knew through the glimpse of the emotion on the girl’s face that they’d get through to her, that the emotionless exterior she was feigning would soon diminish. He looked at Lacey and knew the little girl inside her wasn’t too deep down, either. He took a few deep breaths before he built up the courage to say what he did next. He looked down at his hands and felt his throat already tightening.

“I said to you, that I didn’t have a family,” he began. She turned to look at him, wondering where this was leading. “That… wasn’t always true. I once had a little boy. His name was Baedon.” He felt his heart break at the mention of his name but he knew he had to continue. Lacey remained silent. “That car accident that I told you about… the one that broke my ankle. My son was also in the car and… I lost him.”

Lacey opened and closed her mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. She settled with a quiet, “I’m sorry.”

“Not as sorry as I am. I woke up in hospital after the accident - this same hospital, in fact. They told me he had already gone. Had done on impact. I could experience that broken ankle and my three broken ribs a thousand times… but it still wouldn’t come close to the pain of losing my boy. He was only fourteen, a whole life for us to spend together. But he’s gone, and it’s my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” she interrupted.

“No, Lacey. It was. I was speeding on an icey road. It was my fault. A moment of reckless judgement and a lifetime snatched away. A broken ankle wasn’t enough. I refused to do physiotherapy and that’s why it never healed right, but it’s still more than I deserve.”

He felt a tear fall from his eye and he quickly wiped it away. He hadn’t mentioned it since they had buried his son in the ground, and although he thought of Bae every day, bringing the memory of the crash to surface was still too raw for him.

“Why are you telling me this?” asked Lacey, softly. He looked up at her, looking at him with hooded eyes filled with sympathy. He swallowed, dislodging the lump that had been stuck in his throat, and cleared his voice.

“Because, Lacey,” he said. “I’ve just told you the most personal thing about myself. Now it’s time for you to let me in, too.”


End file.
